How to Engage, Inspire, Connect, and Lead: Part 3 (Thought Records)
In How to Consciously Engage, Inspire, Connect, and Lead: Part 2, we discussed the following principles:
- Acting versus reacting models healthy behavior to those you lead
- Identifying your anxiety-provoking thoughts can create authentic confidence.
- Feeling the fear and doing it anyway is essential.
- Acting in manageable steps toward your goal creates success.
Identify Feelings of Judgment or Comparison
Meaningful relationships are built on trust and likeability. Part of likability involves being authentic. Getting in touch with your own thoughts and feelings will help you be authentic. It’s important to be aware of any feelings of judgment or comparison. Most humans experience those feelings, especially when they’re trying new things and becoming more visible in the public eye. For example, you may be with another person who triggers an emotion such as inferiority. You may say something to yourself such as “They are much better at what they do then I am at what I do.” As a result of that thought you feel judgment against yourself and compare yourself to them. For example, “I should be as good as they are at what I like about them. I’m a slacker.”
Complete a Thought Record
An alternative to feeling judgment against you is to complete a thought record. Completing a thought record is mental weaponry that results in creating a balanced thought versus an overpowering thought that causes you to succumb to the power of that part of you that fears change, discomfort, and not being “the best”.
3 Steps to Completing a Thought Record
- Make 7 columns across a piece of paper
- Mark the 7 columns from left to right with the following headings:
- Negative Feeling
- Rating
- Hot Thought
- Evidence for
- Evidence Against
- Balanced Thought
- Rating
- Fill in the 7 columns as follows:
- Negative Feeling
- Negative Feeling Rating
- Negative Thought
- Evidence for
- Evidence Against
- Balanced Thought
- Balanced Thought Rating
In How to Consciously Engage, Inspire, Connect, and Lead: Part 4, we’ll walk you through 7 simple steps to complete a Thought Record. In the meantime, prepare by attending to your breathing and body sensation. Notice any tension. That is a trigger that your thoughts need attending. Notice without judgment your thoughts, writing down or speaking out loud your anxiety-provoking thoughts. The act of writing them down or voicing them aloud acknowledges them as worthy of your time and attention. It alone empowers you to shift them to more manageable thoughts.
Here’s to you acknowledging your feelings and associated thoughts. It’s time to lead from your authentic self.
Cher
Thank you Cher!
I love the idea of the thought record! I really resonated with the comparison thing. I think that is so easy for many of us to do. Realizing that we all have unique gifts allows the authenticity to shine through.
Martha
Martha,
Yes, comparison is very common and also is a part of the ego that competes for the inner joy and trust in our own unique gifts. Comparison can be helpful when we emulate someone who we aspire to be more like and when we take action to make it happen.
To the use of thought records to open the door to your light,
Cher
Cher,
I can see how useful this exercise can be in creating better thought patterns and improving one’s life in all areas. It’s simple, quick yet very powerful.
Love and light,
Christine
Thanks Cher. I hadn’t seen a thought breakdown quite like that before. Thanks for sharing;)
I love your idea of a “thought record.” ~ It really helps one SEE how the thought of judgment or comparison breaks down (including the evidence that supports it or doesn’t support it) – and how it can be reversed. ~ Being a visual person, I found this really helpful. ~ Thank you, Cher! 🙂
Great article Cher! I loved the tip about the Thought Record. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Thank you Cher – another empowering and practical post to help me improve my speaking skills and be certain that I am connected to my authentic self. Wonderful!
Teena
http://www.coupletherapyconnection
Teena, you’re so very welcome. I see you have an upcoming workshop. I hope this tool is powerful in connecting you to your authentic self to fully express your skills, talents, personality, and spirit with the participants at that workshop:)
To your success,
Cher
You’re welcome Patricia. Feel free to share the information with your clients.
To your and your clients’ success,
Cher
Tina, that’s great feedback you gave me; that being a visual person, you benefited from the format in which I laid this thought record technique out. That visual really helps for me as well as my clients. You’re very welcome. It can be a tool you can use with your clients if it seems like a fit.
Cher 🙂
Dorothy, you’re very welcome. I learned this technique years ago from a great mentor who helped me make HUGE strides in bringing my “conditioned self’s” voices into earshot. That technique along with many others were monumental in clearing the space to meet my “authentic self.”
Cher 🙂
Christine,
Yes, as I just told another reader, I learned this technique years ago from a great mentor who helped me make HUGE strides in bringing my “conditioned self’s” voices into earshot. That technique along with many others were monumental in clearing the space to meet my “authentic self.” It can be used in all areas of one’s life as you say.
Cher 🙂