Overcoming Self-Doubt with Balanced Thoughts: 4 Simple Steps

Freeing Yourself from Doubt

Our doubts in our abilities tend to show up most when we are in career transitions such as starting a new job, changing careers, or starting a business about which we are passionate.  It’s important to acknowledge these doubts.  However, it’s necessary to move through the doubts in order to be successful.  In this article, you’ll learn 4 steps to raise your confidence levels to pursue your dreams.  When you tune in to your thoughts, you open the door to  your spirit. You don’t have to plan a trip to India to see a spiritual healer before you can heal your conditioned self.  These steps will help you if you are experiencing self-doubt with:

  1. Self-esteem
  2. Interacting with others
  3. Making an important decision
  4. Looking for a new job
  5. Changing careers
  6. Starting your own business
  7. Becoming more visible in your business to reach and help more people

Overcoming Automatic Thoughts and Negative Emotions

An automatic thought is a subconscious thought that provokes an emotion.  For our purposes, we will focus on automatic thoughts that provoke negative emotions that hold us back from achieving our potential.  Here’s a brief 4-step process to shift your automatic thoughts to balanced thoughts.

Balanced Thoughts: 4 Steps

  1. Identify the automatic thought
  2. Examine the evidence that supports the automatic thought
  3. Examine the evidence that does not support the automatic thought
  4. Create a balanced thought

Example 1: Business Owner

Here is an example from Scott, described as if occurring in the present moment.

  1. Scott is explaining his marketing services to a potential client who has expressed a need for Scott’s valuable services.
  2. Scott notices that his potential client seems preoccupied as Scott is sharing how he can generate results for his client.
  3. Scott feels anxious and doubtful that he would make a sale
  4. Scott has the automatic thought “My knowledge and skills aren’t valuable. “
  5. Scott’s initial reaction is to stop communicating, withdraw, and to figure the sale is lost.

Because of Scott’s balanced thought training, he takes a step back.  He implements the 4 steps.

  1. Automatic thought: “My knowledge and skills aren’t valuable. “
  2. Evidence that supports the automatic thought: “I didn’t concisely convey my knowledge with a structure and in layperson’s terms.  That lessened the value of my message.
  3. Evidence that does not support the automatic thought: “My client had mentioned a that he was very busy and in the middle of a project that was stressful.”
  4. Balanced thought: I’m going to deliver my message concisely, with structure and in layperson’s terms, and I’m going to ask him first if he has time to dedicate to this topic that can potentially relieve some of his stress in the long run.

Result: Scott’s potential client confirmed Scott’s balanced thought.  Scott’s anxiety decreased, his self-confidence improved, and he strengthened his relationship with his potential client.  His potential client turned into a client.

Example 2: Job Interview

Here is an example from Lisa.

  1. Lisa is looking at a job ad because she wanted to earn higher pay at a job she enjoyed and better utilized her talents and skills.
  2. She finds a job ad in which she was very interested.
  3. Lisa feels anxious and doubtful she could get the job
  4. She stops looking at the ad and goes and goes to watch T.V.

Because of Lisa’s balanced thought training, she implements the 4 steps.

  1. Automatic thought:  “I won’t get this job.  I’m not qualified.”
  2. Evidence that supports the automatic thought: Lisa had applied to a job in the past and never got a call for an interview.
  3. Evidence that does not support the automatic thought: Lisa applied to the job in the past when she didn’t have the skills or experience she now has.
  4. Balanced thought: “I’m going to apply and showcase all my experience and skills.  The worst that can happen is that I don’t get an interview. The best that can happen is I get the job.

Result: Lisa prepared for the job by putting together a stellar resume and rehearsing answers to interview questions.

Summary: Creating Balanced Thoughts

Changing jobs, careers, or pursuing your dreams by starting your own business often raises doubt.  It’s essential to overcome the doubt if you intend to be successful.  The first step is learning the four steps to achieving balanced thoughts.  Balanced thoughts ease negative emotions and include four steps.  Subsequently, we improve our ability to see our full potential and take productive action. Here’s to you creating balanced thoughts to your potential!

2 Comments

Barbara JordanMarch 18th, 2013 at 9:39 am

Very good article Cher. I, myself, do a similar process with clients in my coaching and training programs whereby they identify negative, non-supportive, dis-empowering thoughts, beliefs, assumptions, attitudes, and conclusions then challenge them. Like you mentioned here, it IS important to outline the supporting evidence as well as the evidence that does not support the belief. Lastly, we replace the negative, non-supportive thoughts and beliefs with positive, supportive, empowering ones. What is NOT considered here is the need to repeat those positive statements to oneself until they do become automatic. This is why we announce declarations during our training programs. This is why I offer 11 personal/professional development CDs including ambient music, relaxation, creative visualization, and affirmations on my website. It’s an absolute necessary extra measure for removing those blocks to achieving success!

Cher GundersonMarch 18th, 2013 at 6:59 pm

Hi Barbara.
Thank you very much for your comments. I agree that successful long-lasting change requires attention to making the new balanced thoughts automatic. That would be the next step after implementing the fours steps outlined in this article. One concept I’ve learned about reaching people through articles such as this one is that outlining one set of techniques at a time benefits them. Making these balanced thoughts more automatic is a concept that I believe is great for another whole article! As I’m sure you know from your experience with clients as well as personally, that CONSISTENTLY replacing those negative thoughts with balanced thoughts is facilitated by specific techniques. Thank you for noticing and for sharing some of your techniques such as declarations, ambient music, relaxation, visualization, and affirmations. Please watch for our next article addressing how to shift balanced thoughts to CONSISTENT AUTOMATIC thoughts. I would love to hear your feedback again!

Here’s to your and your clients’ successful thought-shifting!

Cher

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